Finding Clarity In the Midst of Confusion

Happy New Year to ALL, and I pray that you entered this 2018 with a new outlook on life and can achieve your goals (new or old)! I know there’s a lot of downplay about the “New Year new me” attitude that’s made for the new year, but if you feel a need for change, I say go for it! No need in holding back your growth in any way shape or form because it’s not popular. Change is inevitable and necessary…so do you unapologetically.

In recent days my 2018 has been off to a great start. I’m pacing myself more carefully. Carving out more time to enjoy my family and friends. Although I could make more time to hit the gym, but besides that, the things I prayed for are certainly coming to pass, which I’m eternally thankful for.

Earlier this week I was visited by stranger at work who is in his early 60’s and was in need of some assistance. Unfortunately the day that he arrived, we were unable to complete the necessary steps due to websites being down; so I asked him to come in the following day. Before he left, we spoke for at least an hour and I gave him more information about what we would be accomplishing the next time he came in and what I needed for him to provide me to better assist him.

He was grateful, and somehow we ended up discussing Christianity and what God has in store for us; the promise. The conversation was fluid, and I appreciated having God bless me with meeting him; he concurred.

Side note: It’s always amazing to me when you can really chop it up with someone who has a relationship with God. In my opinion it feels like I’m talking to a brother or sister. It’s like we know about a secret no one else knows about. The space in which we speak seems to develop its own energy. It just feels right and pleasing to God. All parties involved in this place of “energy” know the power behind the words and what it means to be able to confidently speak about His promises to us, and it’s an overall spiritually uplifting experience.  

Now, for privacy’s sake, I’ll name this gentleman “The Poet”. It suits him well and you’ll later find out why.

So the following day, The Poet came in as expected. As he carried his tethered 3-ring binder with hundreds of self-written copyrighted poems cased in plastic protector sleeves, I knew immediately he was serious about writing. Who knew?

He later began to explain to me that he would wake up in the middle of the night to jot down small lines, words, and phrases that came to him. He also expressed that he wasn’t sure why he was sharing any of this intimate information with me at all; other than having met me the day prior—he said I reminded him of Kerry Washington (now those were his words not mine…either way I’m flattered!).

The first poem that he invited me to read was printed over the opaque picture of a beautiful bright-eyed young lady. She was pictured holding a video game remote control, and had a huge smile. She couldn’t have been a day over 20 years of age in the photograph. In turquois blue lettering centered throughout the sheet was a poem. It was highlighting her short lived life, and how the Lord is there to comfort those who lost her too soon to a tragic gun related accident. She was young. The story he told me about her was heartbreaking. His poem was relieving and beautiful. No amount of words could take the pain away from the family who experienced this tragedy, but he said he was inspired by their pain to comfort them in some way and that this was what God delivered him to do.

Now at the time, he felt that it was not enough. This young lady that was taken was like a niece to him and his wife. There was now a void there that had to be filled, and he kept hearing God instruct him to write—pour his pain and the remedy of God’s love into a comforting masterpiece; a poem!

Having just returned in December from a funeral of a dear loved one, losing a cousin, and praying for the loved ones who were experiencing illness and hospitalization; pain was showing how colorful it can be and what disguises it takes. Both of these recent losses left behind grieving spouses, children, and loved ones; left to question how to move on and where to start.

What The Poet did not know at the time was that I immediately knew God sent him to me to relay a message to me, and when I read his poem, I was yet again reminded of God’s unwavering love for us. That’s when I was reminded of 2 Timothy 2:7:

“Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.”

These are very confusing and troubling times that we live in, and often times what is happening in our lives do NOT make any sense at all. Often times what we see as an error or glitch in the system, isn’t that; but a notification (or signal) to come back to God on conversation, shift your mindset immediately to Him and meditate on clarity.

Logic is not the answer in most situations we face in life. Confusion is often dismissed as a burden, but the clarity we are supposed to seek is in fact the lesson. The pain, loss, anger, frustration may not pass in your desired likeness, but it will. Not that The Poet had the answers, or he wasn’t still affected by his loss.

But in the midst of his confusion and loss, he drew closer and was obedient to God’s requests. It wasn’t comfortable or convenient for him (as he expressed to me), in turn he used his gift in a special way.

Stay Blessed!

-Jenn

Overlooking the Rockefeller Observation Deck during sunset.