Delay Is Not Denial
Well it's Monday! For me, that means another traditional work week is on the rise, and I'm approaching it full force without giving up on my goals and dreams (trust me the struggle to keep a traditional gig is real). Nonetheless, I'm blessed! I'm gainfully employed, I have my health, my family and friends, and all of the tools I need to live a fulfilled life.
As many of you may know by now, I am a Type 1 Diabetic, which is a major focus in my life as far as my health is concerned. It has been an 11 year journey. I'm still learning so much about myself through it all, how to take better care of myself, and the technological advancements have given me so much more freedom to assume some normalcy in my life, and be an active mother, wife, family member, and friend. For that I'm forever thankful, and I'm also extremely thankful for visiting my very first blog D1VABET1C!
I was influenced by so many experiences in my life to create this blog, and by sharing my journey in exchange to reach people who may (or may not) share similar experiences or views, but we all have something we know we need to accomplish in life. Yeah, I'm talking about that little voice that keeps causing you to create and dream bigger and bigger. If you've ever had a dream (not just a goal), you know who you are and I'm talking to you!
D1VABET1C is without a doubt my new baby. Yep. She's a baby that requires a lot of attention and nurturing, patience and hard work. Which in part is why rolling out and introducing this to everyone was so delayed. I didn't want my baby out in the world without the ability to be strong and well defined. Not perfection, but respect for my brand and in what format I wanted to be honest and candid with. The very aspect of my life that came under attack when trying to introduce my blog was my creative spark. There was a wave of insecurity and doubt (the enemy). I stopped writing, forgot my passion, took a hiatus...created excuses to not go forward with what inspired me most; which is the ability to live in a purpose which I knew was bigger than me but required of me (my God). All of the random Post-its hanging neatly in my office with topics of discussions-quotes-inspirational words, hundreds of notes jotted down in my personal journal, pieces of folded papers in books I've read and inside my glove compartment; all of this had to come together in one piece, one place. And that one place is now D1VABET1C!
It was literally a dream of mine that had to be birthed. Every distraction and setback led me to think that I shouldn't pursue writing fulltime, but every chance I ran away from it, it came running towards me. Now, I would say and describe D1VABET1C as best as I can without sounding scattered: It is a full combination of my love for myself (yes I believe in self-love and awareness of your self-esteem), as well as my diabetic status (which goes without saying, it's a serious part of my life as well). Not one in particular defines me most over the other, but it is an integral part of who I am, and I invite you all to relish the journey.
With that said, I honestly pushed blogging to the backburner. I downplayed the effects of it. Dismissing my focus behind creating and branding D1VABET1C. Yes I did. I stopped writing all together for 3 months or so (which was highly unusual for me at the time). I completely threw myself into work, instead of making my gift (I consider writing one of my gifts because it is something I have loved to do most that gives me joy) work for me and digging deeper to express that.
Somehow I became complacent with sitting on my hands with working on the new blog. I justified the delay by addressing how "busy" I was by how much had to be done elsewhere in some other area of my life. Each 24 hour day that passed by I squandered it by not acting on my gift; as if I could get it back, the biggest lie I could tell myself. Simply put, it is easier to do nothing and function like a hard worker at the same time, than it was to actively work on what was meant for me to do (isn't it interesting how that works?). I call it being a "minimalist at best", and this behavior certainly says a lot about having fear of success, and that was something I was not trying to become comfortable with in my life.
So then one night it hit me like a ton of bricks while settling down after a long day at work. Like one of those aha moments that we often hear about some of the great thinkers and motivators having (chuckling because I always loved Oprah's facial expressions when she had an aha moment). As I became more aware of these moments, I would become frustrated with myself very quickly if things did not pan out as suggested or planned. I had to create a mantra for myself--"Delay Is Not Denial" was a saying of mine that I've valued for some time--and used it especially when I felt myself wanting to quit and walk away from what was calling me. My brief definition of that phrase is simple:
"Just because there is some postponement behind the execution, does not mean you are being denied of anything."
This is why this mantra works for me; we all have realizations about what we want, but executing and articulating that into fruition is not easy, nor is it easy to believe that it is for us. Which brings me to the next set challenges I faced; so now I know what I want, I have delayed the process long enough, I'm moving along again with my vision, this isn't easy...but my mind won't let me rest until it is executed! What I have recognized about the "delay" part of the process is that it can have a significant impact on our ability to encourage ourselves and our motivational drive. Trust me, sometimes pushing ourselves is the very least we have to give. However, no matter what opposition is faced between the conception of your vision and the end goal, if there is execution on your part to fulfill it, it will manifest itself. Thinking about the plan and taking no action is not enough to manifest it.
Ultimately, we have to take responsibility for creating and carving out our place here in the world, that is what I have found to be most challenging. I find that to be the challenge because it can look and feel so overwhelming to us. I would never suggest that the place that we all want to be is measured by square-footage, wealth, horsepower, and carat size. It may be for some, but for others it may translate to receiving gratitude, appreciation, comfort, clarity, or even closure. Regardless of that place, even when no one is giving us a step-by-step guide to get there, it is haunting to us all to make sure we get there at some point in our lives. I believe that when identifying our purposes in life (I do believe we have more than one purpose to fulfill as we all are multifaceted individuals), the purpose does not always require for us to look a particular way, sound or talk a certain way, or hyper-edit ourselves to assume perfection. The purpose magnetically attracts itself to those who can best communicate with others who understand, accept, and relate to where we are in life (so if you think you have to check all of the boxes off on your list to pursue your gift--stop it!).
So, as you join me on my journey I hope to express that there's absolutely nothing I would rather do more than to help maximize the thinking power, will power, and overall self-awareness in others'; so that they can start believing that their dreams are valid and those of which cannot be marginalized.
